Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Don't Shoot!!!

To all who may be struggling with a last minute gift idea for the elderly or disabled in your life, get ready to send me a thank you note because I am going to throw you a bone. I came across this story while listening to NPR and it made me feel foolish that last Christmas I gave my aging Grandmother a hot water bag in a faux fur liner and not THIS.

Her very own, elderly and senile friendly HAND GUN!!! The clear choice for the disabled, easily startled and alarmed loved ones in your life. When thinking of my own Grandmother, a Tom Clancy super fan, I thought "I can not think of a single downside to this gift." The 2nd amendment loving manufacturers of the first ergonomically correct hand gun are marketing the Palm Pistol as a defense mechanism for the elderly against home intruders and ungrateful Grand Children. Despite being denied by the FDA to classify the Palm Pistol as a medical device and therefore make it available by prescription through medicare, I would wager a bet that they are still going to be successful. They are after all targeting one of the more paranoid demographics of our great nation.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Family of Winners (not wieners)

There are two things that the Brown's do well, look good and win. And that is exactly what we were doing Sunday night. Matthew kicked things off by winning the betting pool we started at the beginning of the Amazing Race (and he wants his five dollars: Jimmy, Allison, Mindy and Ashley).

And I finished the night by embarrassing all of the people at this table with my insane Scrabble Skills.

The embarrassed loser's in question.

The Scrabble board that carried me to victory. If you notice in the lower left hand corner you will see the seven letter, 149 point word that slayed my competitors.

How do you score a 149 point word? Just call up the scrabble master (my new handle) and I will let you in on how I get all my pretty little tiles lined up in a row.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Operation Humble Kanye

Nobody ever has, but if they ever did, both of us would undoubtedly answer the question "who are some of your favorite humans in this world that you can think of off the top of your head right now?" with a list containing some of the following:

stephen colbert
kanye west

and the list usually stops there. so lately we've been pumped up because theres been a lot of those two to go around. in addition to his nightly tv show, Colbert has a Christmas special out on DVD, A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All and a soundtrack to accompany it (featuring musical performances by other favorite humans of ours: Leslie Feist and Toby Keith). And Kanye has a really really good album 808s and Heartbreak that just came out.
But apparently the world can only handle so much awesomeness at one time before a major beef breaks out -- think Biggie vs. Tupac, Jay-Z vs. Nas, Shaq vs. Kobe, or 50 Cent vs. anyone. So the inevitable has happened and now Kanye and Colbert are beefing.

To catch you up, this is how it all started on Dec. 1st:

Then the next night, Dec. 2nd, Kanye hardly kept his Love Lockeddown when he responded on some nerd website called Twitter (?) with a rated 'R' message that is just a lot too much for this blog to handle, but Colbert gives you the 411 in the next clip from Dec. 4th:

This kind of stuff really revs my engine. I hope it never ever ends.

-- matthew