Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The lies I tell myself

In my previous post I admitted to being a thief. In this post I am admitting to being a liar, and there is no one I love lying to more than myself. I hate to camp. The last time I went camping I swore that I would never go again. I am always cold, I get seasonal vertigo and always have to get up more than once in the night to go to the bathroom. I told myself that this time would be different. I would bring a better sleeping bag, warmer clothes, dehydrate myself a week in advance to avoid peeing on my sweat pants while squatting in the woods at 3am. These were all lies and deep down I must have known it and to insure that I never lie to myself again, my body revolted against me. I was freezing, I got a terrible fever, I spent two hours in the moonlight puking around our campsite, I cried, I threw a tantrum and made Shanna take me home at 6am. Here is a slide show of pictures from the two hours of camping that I did enjoy.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Who's in your five?

We have been tagged by Cicily to share five random things about ourselves and then tag five other people. Apparently I interpreted five random things to mean five shameful confessions and urge my tagees to do the same.

1. I make a convincing handicapped boy. I discovered it in my high school math class and have been trying to use this talent to acquire free stuff ever since. Aren't I adorable?

2. I used to daydream about being diagnosed with a really great and tragic disease and then imagine how everyone would mourn me. I only occasional do this now, only when work is really boring, or someone has wronged me or I'm alone in the car.

3. I love minivans! I love them in their array of colors and sizes. I would own one now but am not brave enough to face the social stigmas of my peers for being a childless woman in my twenties driving a minivan.

4. I steal. I steal stuff from my parents house every time I go over there. Cleaning supplies, food, home decor, spare change..... I have no limits and rarely feel guilty for doing this. I like to think that they would have given it to me anyways so its not really stealing. But I am afraid that no one thinks this is a cute quirk like I imagine but a real problem with theft.

5. In junior high I told some of my friends that my Dad got Spinal Meningitis and was now a little "slow", in order to answer some questions they had about him. It worked.

1. In the 11th grade my Spanish II teacher pulled me aside after class. She mentioned that the administration had informed her of my severe learning disabilities and that she would be willing to offer me extra tutoring. I angrily responded by telling her "I'm not retarded!" So, she then attempted to calm me down by saying that it must have been a mistake and that the office had me confused with one of the school's other Matt Brown's. Ever since that day, my greatest fear in life is that I actually am down-syndrome and that no one has ever told me because they fear my reaction.

2. By the end of next November, I will have voted for George W. Bush in 3 different presidential elections.

3. I wanna be MADE!
For most of my life, I have sat at home on the weekends and dreamt about going to raves and foam parties, but I've never gone because of my severe self-esteem issues. So now, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that MTV's show Made, will accept my admission tape and help make me into a rave super-star.

4. When my friends would buy packs of candy cigarettes and sit around and pretend to be smoking, I would pretend that mine were laced with PCP, then I would jump through glass windows and pulverize every living thing in sight with my fists.

5. I used to tell people that I don't like to read. Then Lindsay told me that when a person says that they don't like to read, they are really just saying that they are stupid. So, lately I've been telling her that I actually do like to read, and I even go as far as to carry a book with me to some family gatherings... but the truth is, I still really don't like to read.

Now we challenge Brad and Shanna, Stacie, Adrianne, and Ashley to reveal their secrets. Make it good!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Carla Explains it All

This is Carla V (I will not give her full name to protect her identity) to her left is Brad( who has been featured on our blog twice, and both times was wearing tank tops.) This post is the first in an installment of what I hope will be a reoccurring segment. Carla V loves to share her knowledge and opinion even when she knows she is in a room of non supporters. Last week she gave us her opinion on digital cameras and questioned why we don't try to capture our memories on 35mm. Carla V is wise and will not be tricked into thinking that digital cameras are convenient and give you the freedom to take numerous pictures and delete them later. She hates to look at pictures through the LCD screen but most of all she hates that we carry our camera with us everywhere. Perhaps she does not subscribe to the business of memory making or she is of the opinion that our lives are not nearly as interesting as we think and can not fathom why we would want to capture any aspect of it on film. I can only guess at her reasoning but I like to think that Carla V agrees with the Aboriginal school of though that taken one's picture steals their soul. My only response is that if I did not carry my camera with me at all times I would never been able to capture this:

or this, her soulmate on his scooter.

Van Helsing Boombox

Being in a band has got to take a lot of hard work. Between practicing, touring, recording, cocaine snorting, and womanizing, a band member is going to be stretched pretty thin. There is a certain level of dedication that is required, and it is for that very reason that our band, Proud Tears, has never really taken off. We like our boring old addiction free lives just fine for now. However, I am confident that our hiatus will end someday, and that our love for making beautiful music will be rekindled. And when that beautiful day comes I imagine that it will look something like this:

Lot's of tribal-like face paint, lots of facial hair, lots of white clothing, and lots of music from the soul. This is definitely my favorite song of the moment, and this live performance is exactly what I've always hoped that Proud Tears will someday be capable of.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Sleeping Lessons

Lately, the Shins have been on heavy rotation around our house, which is nice because it's like visiting an old friend that you haven't seen in a while. Then yesterday, I saw this video from one of their shows from earlier this year, and it reminded me of when we saw them in March. The video is filmed and edited well, and the song is one of their best... And plus, everyone likes the Shins, right?

The Shins "Sleeping Lessons"

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Basketball Diaries

This is a group of local actors doing a reenactment of the fated Bulls Vs. Suns 1993 NBA finals. Very convincing.

This is a group of local all stars who are in the throws of a 7 game play off series.
Back Row from left to right: Matthew (just excited at the chance to make use of his Nike Lebron James II's that he won on ebay), Lindsay (infamous for questionable tactics and flagrant fouls), Shanna (rebound machine), Jeremy ( heart of a lion and unquestionably the smelliest man on the court), Stacie (plays shoeless to show her competitors her hardcore attitude towards the game).
Front Row from left to right: Brad (stingy defense, motivated by the chance to wear tank tops), Ryan (could make Lew Alcindor cry), Ty (sports a league approved rat tail)

Game 1: 24-22 a close win by Jeremy, Brad, Shanna and Stacie
Game 2: will be Monday night- details and player stats will follow.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

El Paso, You Have Officially Been Warned

There is not much to say about this video except that
1. It's on live TV
2. Tracy Morgan is blowing my mind right now.
3. I love how quick he is to turn the conversation to awesome, and then keep it there.
4. This just gets me pumped up to watch him on 30 Rock, tonight.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

You Have 48 hours

This is my eldest sister Ashley. She is nice, has good hair and her blog is linked to mine in the right hand column. She has not updated her blog for 7 weeks. This displeases me. Each morning as I eat breakfast before leaving for work I indulge in all of the new and exciting blog posts that were created the night before. Imagine my disappointment as each day I find that same old crusty post from 7 weeks ago. Blog reading is my one true joy in the morning. I have quit reading the news (Us magazine online) and instead read funny anecdotes about Jessica's kids and the weird things you can make inside a pumpkin (by the way Jessica, my mom has rated your blog number one because she thinks you are so cute and also I think she has a crush on your husband. Who can blame her after that barf training video?)
Ashley, you are in the ripest blog season of you life- trips to Argentina, late night visitors showing up in loin clothes, survivng adult braces. I will out you if I have to. Post or I will
de-link you and tell your stories on MY blog. This are my demands, you have 48 hours.

Monday, November 5, 2007

The Great White Hype

This yet to be released commercial is such a blessing to the world that it makes my body weep... not just my eyes, but my whole body. As if Steve Nash wasn't already at a level of awesomeness that was otherwise unheard of for a white person to reach, he goes and does something like this...

Nash is so ferociously awesome in the skateboarding/basketball clips that he even tricks an American like me into believing that soccer is a cool sport.

Suns, Greeks, and the Living Dead

This was a weekend filled with many highs:

and one big low:

We started out on Friday with a smooth cruise around the valley's freeway system, which eventually led us to the Verschoor's pad for a Suns game extravaganza. That's where we got Senator V to show us his new vespa cruiser (see picture above), and then the Suns were crushed by what should have been a much weaker Laker team (see link above).
On Saturday after we helped Jimmy and Allison move, we decided to let loose and celebrate. So, we met up with Brad and Shana and hit the valley festival circuit, which consisted of the Scottsdale Greek festival and the Chandler Day of the Dead Celebration. We spent all day getting cultured, and it ended up feeling pretty nice.
Luckily, we took way too many pictures, and we put them to use in this pretty little slideshow. Also, in an even luckier turn of events, we found the perfect song to accompany any slideshow.
You're welcome.